How Am I Supposed to Believe in a Deity?

How much longer am I suppose to believe in a deity that gives me nothing but questions? Having been a Christian for fifteen years hasn’t been kind to me. My life hasn’t been the worst.

Sometimes I actually feel like I might be making a bigger deal out of this than it really is. Then I think, you know, this involves my possible placement of where I could spend eternity so its somewhat important. It’s seriously gotten to the point where even the very idea of a god seems ridiculous. At least that way things actually make more sense. As opposed to believing in a god that allow things so hurtful come into this life that it cast so much doubt that you feel like you would have been better off not knowing him.

There’s other things but I really don’t have the energy right now to start making a list and checking it twice. It’s almost as if the world as it is right now couldn’t have turn out any other way. Like Adam and Eve never really had a real choice in the matter. God knew exactly what would happen and calls it free will. Why bother punishing someone for unknowingly following the script that you wrote. Let’s not forget we are made in his image.

Asked by TI$A

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  1. Hi TI$A,

    One can actually feel your pain and can ask those questions on behalf of millions of people who have crosses to bear. Isn’t it all about taking everything in your stride and doing what must be done to emerge whether bruised/intact on the other side. We’ve been given life and steer it in the best way possible. It’s like an obsticle race, you are being observed when performing your task, you battle on through all the obstacles placed in your path – yet no one looking on who could help, gives you any assistance – you are on your own and the goal is reaching the finishing line. OR you can roll over, give up and perhaps die.

    Another parallel is observing the animals in the wild, you and your guide armed to the teeth observe prey and preditor, you have the power to prevent the preditor from killing it’s prey yet you do not interfere allowing nature to take its course, the end result – one dead animal and one satisfied. Survival of the fittest whilst you make your way. The prey chose the area where the preditor was, the guide could see its folly but does nothing – should the guide have taken sides in their natural environment?

    What do you think?

  2. Hello Ti$a,

    I am sorry you are having such a tough time. Adn I agree with you about Adam and Eve. I know its hard to believe in an deity that doesn’t interact with us, but sometimes I’m grateful it doesn’t, going by the Old Testament behaviour it got up to. Who are you asking the questions of? I wish God would answer some more of mine too. But one of the loudest answers has always been .. we create our own reality.

    Adam and Eve .. is a biblical ‘story’. We have no facts to prove they existed, and in ‘fact’ we can genetically prove they probably didn’t. You can’t breed a population from one man and woman who only had three sons. We’ve debated that topic on other answer sites, usually right off topic.

    I see you believe that everything we do is predestined by God. I don’t know ‘why’ people believe that. It denies free will completely. If God chose everything, he chose what you ate for breakfast this morning, and the colour of your undies. But who actually chose those things? God gets blamed for too much. Free will means we choose our lives, and everything in them.

    I would love God to step in, stop the bad things, and leave us all in Nirvana .. or something equally pleasant .. the New Eden? Personally I don’t believe in ascension, nor aliens coming to rescue us from ourselves, because the things that created all of humanities problems are buried within each of us, and the process of living on this planet is about getting to know ourselves, and release from ourselves those things that harm us and other people.

    One of the toughest lessons I ever learned was to stop blaming God for my life. I didn’t even know about the concept of karma until I was over 20. The household I grew up in was quasy Christian, and we were not allowed to discuss new age concepts, nor ones from other cultures, nor anything about what I could or couldn’t ‘do’.. like see ghosts, and my childhood was definitely a challenge on many other levels as well. What it taught me was my strength.

    Accepting that God allows all of us to live our lives any way we want, including harming others .. is a challenge. God doesn’t stop bad things because ‘it’ gave us free will, and ‘it’ is not doing the bad things. If it stopped something happening that you didn’t like, it would take free will away from you, and all the other people involved in the event. I know that’s a complicated concept, but .. we don’t know the outcomes of what happens to us until we deal with it, and how we deal with it is what teaches us about ourselves – and often what empowers us to change for the better. There is a saying ‘drop a pebble in a pool and ripples will continue forever’ .. or until something stops them. Well, you are the pebble, and this world is your pool – just as I am a pebble too. Your life touching mine, because of something that happened to you, may change both of us profoundly.

    Free will give us the right to choose everything that happens to us, but we don’t remember the choosing. Perhaps if we remembered what we have chosen to learn before each lifetime, we would manage better when bad things happen, but we would not learn the lessons as well. We do not ‘learn’ well in good times, we coast along and bask in the peace .. its only when we are hurt that we seek to change that which is hurting us .. outside or inside ourselves.

    It would be wonderful if everyone could just love one another, get along, never hurt each other, never challenge each other, never do unacceptable things to each other .. but .. we are not made like that. We live in fear, anger, hatred, lust, insanity, jealousy .. I am sure you can add to the list of negative emotions and beliefs. Sometimes we choose to act on those fears and beliefs and hurt ourselves or other people, sometimes we choose not to.

    Free will is a concept that people resent. We want the happy simple life, but .. if we have a challenging life now, its because we chose it. God had nothing to do with the choice.

    Choose not to believe in God if it makes you happier. God is not going to mind. It is only a Christian belief that if you don’t believe in ‘it’ and Jesus you are going straight to hell. If its true, some really nice people are already there, like Buddha. I think I would rather hang out with them, than the Christian hypocrits who made my life ‘hell’ :-) .. once in a while. I am a Christian metaphysican .. I am also a medim, a soothsayer, a clairvoyant and a demonologist. According to the church I am already condemned. According to my angels, and my personal experiences with God and Jesus, I am profoundly loved.

    I’ll stay profoundly loved thanks. :-)
    Love & Peace
    Ama Nazra
    (listed below under Friends)

  3. God is a feeling you will find inside yourself. Some people choose to follow other peoples idea’s of what that feeling is. Some make their own theories.

    I don’t know. On the one hand, the world seems to be falling apart. Gradually edging ever closer to oblivion. But then again, in the last 200 years, we’ve made fantastic advances in medicine, we abolished slavery, we went to the moon, women and ethnic minorities have equal rights to the rest of us, we built an economy that connects each and every one of us to the farthest reaches of the planet. (it fell apart but we’re putting it back together.)

    You’ll drive yourself insane battling with the big “Why”

    Try not to focus on the negative. Genocide, disease, war, natural disaster, it all happens. There are people in every country in the world who would and do kill people because they don’t see God in the same way as them. It saddens me to see people killing each other over what they are too stupid to understand.
    God in the judeo-christian, Islamic, Hindu etc may or may not exist.

    I believe God is in people. A very small percentage of this world cause all it’s problems. The vast, vast majority of us just want to enjoy the short time we have. We mostly don’t care what someone on the other side of the world believes in. They are just happy with, or finding their own set of beliefs.

    Go with what feels right to you. Don’t stay a christian just because that’s what you’ve always been. Step outside the organised religions (or the embodiment of all evil as i call it) and find what works for you.

    In my opinion, if Christianity was ever right on the money about what God is, then he’s either dead or given up and left for something better. To me, the Judeo-Christian God is just a kid pulling the wings off a fly. Or to be specific, an all knowing superbeing with infinite power watching us mere mortals suffer.

  4. You have to get the fact that yes there is someone and something on the other side, there is a reason we are here and it’s called school of life.

    we go through life learning and growing for the next levels of our supernatural life, karma is a bitch and we all know that, but in the end every thing is a lesson and if not a lesson to you, a lesson to someone in your presence from you, nobody else knows your path but yourself in your inner self, it’s the feeling where you know in your deepest core that it is true and that is what you are supposed to be doing, stop asking why and how and start saying i am going to do this my way in witch ever way you find best.

    you are either a student or a teacher and if you don’t know witch you are then you can know if you are the one always asking for help or just a few times, or never, if you always need someone to answere your questions then you are a student witch is ok you just have to remember to take the notes… remember the lessons they are always there you are always learning, just try to live your life more and start to deside who you are going to be in this life instead of running after religion, your supposed to be running with life not after something else, god is always there and your angels too although they might not have the time to always be checking in with you, you can always ask them for help and they will help in the end, just put enough good energy out in the cosmo and they’ll hear your call ;) .

    your basically being watched and graded on how you take on circumstances and how you battle them. don’t give up on what you believe is right.


  5. What worries me is that I actually find comfort in “relieving” myself of this life. When I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes. Not tears of fear but tears of relief. Almost like all the hurt that’s bottled up will finally be gone. I’ve actually attempted to kill myself when I was younger. This was probably around 2001. I was still in high school. Even back then I just didn’t understand my reason for being. Took a handful of pills and hoped for the best. Funny thing is that a friend of mine ended up picking me up soon afterwards not knowing what I’d done. Twenty minutes later I told him to pull over and I vomitted. Now some people would say God spared you for a reason that day. Well I say I just didn’t take pills that were strong enough. For argument sake, what if he did spare me? What for? so I could I feel the same way a about life if not worst ten years later? I don’t know how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep asking for help. Just something to remind me that I’m not by myself. Well the result of that was nothing. No reassurance, no change, not a thing. I might as well being praying to a brick wall. I’ve heard many times that God helps those who help themselves. Well I’ve helped myself and now I’m here. Wishing those pills I took years ago would have done what I planned th

    • Hi Ti$a,

      You said you have helped yourself, how? Have you been diagnosed with depression? Have you sought counselling for your emotional pain? God doesn’t give us pain, nor a troubled life. God is the source of Love, but we have to choose to allow that Love to be in our lives, even if we don’t go near a church of any kind, and somnetimes that brick wall is the one we created for ourselves.

      Running away from a life is not the solution. There is no instant relief. We have to live it all over again .. and again .. until we learn to make another choice. I know this for a fact, because I remember my past lives, and that includes choosing suiciding. No .. better to confront the issues now, with help from someone trained in counselling or psychology, so you can understand your choices in why you are feeling this way now.

      My mother says I was a very angry baby. I was also a very angry child, and teen .. it wasn’t until after I was 27 that I started to confront my anger and ask why. I learned a lot about myself. I thank the people who helped me, and did .. because I spent 10 years living far from civilization and the mental health worker I talked to once a month had to drive to the town to visit with us, although he only came three times before ‘the funding ran out?’ I was so sorry when that stopped, but he had provided me with the tools to do my ‘own’ mental work, and I kept going from there. It’s very easy to be angry and hurt, but I also believe its just as easy to choose to feel another, better, way. We just forget how to do it, because it seems easier to stay hurt .. its certainly safer, nothing is then demanded of us. It’s like frowning .. gravity pulls the muscles of our faces down, we have to ‘choose’ to smile all the time. We can stay angry, or we can seek another path. I admire the bubbly people who coast through life never feeling a thing but happy .. I would love to emulate them .. but truthfully, I am far too serious a nature to be able to. So I enjoy the flashing moments of silly joy .. and try and smile ‘for a while’ each day.

      We are what we create ourselves to be. Some of us have chosen the harder lifetimes because we enjoy a challenge. Only we forget as we come into the world, that this lifetime is what we chose ..

      Did God choose to save your life? Yes. God chooses to give us all life and he doesn’t want us to throw it away .. otherwise we wouldn’t have to keep repeating the lives until we choose to Live. Did he step in for you personally .. I think more it was you who wants to live. Your own body wants you to live. That’s why you threw up. Your mind is struggling with emotions right now, but the struggle is not killing you, it is making you stronger. It’s time now to go and find some help, put all that energy you put into the pain back into finding your own path to healing. We need the strong stubborn people in the world right now, working to help those who don’t have the sort of courage that keeps you alive. And it does take courage to stay alive. We need you to find your peace, so that you can share your journey with others and help them find peace too. And I am not kidding here. The people being born into the world now are gentle souls. They cannot fight the way you and I can. They will need leaders who know what the struggle is all about.

      If you won’t do it for yourself, Ti$a, do for the kids who should never have to go through what you went through. Sometimes finding a cause to direct your energy to can be a lifesaver.’

      Love & Peace

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