JWard at Ararat, the site of an asylum for the criminally insane, a place abandoned now by time, but not by the living who like to visit the inhabitants.. the ghosts of trouble past. I arrived with a group of seven other people on a ‘ghost tour’, we had gadgets: cameras, K2s, thermometers and ghost radars, and curiosity of course, would anything interesting happen tonight, as it had in the past?
After a brief introduction to the history of the place we were introduced to the mystery by a parapsychologist who was acting as our guide. I can’t say it was the most interesting talk, and leading us into the west wing first, the place that frightens her the most, is understandable I suppose, given that it was only just dark .. but I would have preferred to do it the other way around .. explore the kitchen and the Governor’s bathroom first and then go in the spooky bits .. only tonight it wasn’t spooky at all, and no matter how much we asked, whistled or threw marbles (actually what happened to those marbles?) we got little or no response – until we went out into the garden, and the parapsychologist really wanted me to go out in the garden .. because there had been a cold spot over the graves of three men .. I think .. on one of her previous trips around the yard, and she wanted me to check it out?
So I went out ‘wide open’, which is a quick way of saying that I went out expecting to meet ghosts, with all my senses open to receive input .. but what I received was not three men, no, it was one small frightened desperately broken little girl.
Annalise. How do I start the story of Annalise? How do I describe what I saw and felt and heard with any depth that you can even grasp the horror of what I saw done to her? How it ripped me to shreds as I tried to hold her shade in my arms …?
Annalise!
And so I went out into the garden, following along with the others on the tour, but by the time I made it to the central area I knew there was a problem, but not yet what it was. A quiet young female voice asked “you can see me?" I said yes, and started to tune in .. only to the caught up in a tidal wave of emotion, fear, pain, as if some huge entity was trying to overwhelm me and drag me down to the ground, literally, as the entity tried to climb up my chest and pull its poor broken body up to standing height – to prove its humanity? “I’m human." I said “I know you are," as I grabbed a nearby table, frantic to unload the equipment in my hands, the camera around my neck, before it all landed on the ground, along with me, mentally begging the entity, so intense a force, to
“Wait! Wait! Wait! I can’t do this. Wait!" The equipment hit the table and I grabbed the post as my grounding went to hell and the something begged me to
“STOP THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN. PLEASE STOP THE PAIN. YOU HAVE TO STOP THE PAIN. I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE."
Annalise. Just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes even now. Overwhelming, staggering, emotion washed through me, struggled to communicate with me, struggled to hold on, to be recognised, to be remembered. To be remembered. Not forgotten. “They forgot me. They forgot me" , the voice in my mind getting louder and more frantic, and the waves of pain .. the memory of the waves of pain, not the actual feeling, kept overwhelming my senses and I could not get my grounding back. I could not anchor my energy back to earth, literally rocking on my feet, while I struggled to support the girl I could sense but couldn’t see, control was .. gone. I had to get a handle on the situation and the energy and her and me, and then my logical mind kicked in, thank you angels, I had to ground.
“Seek the dominant energy", said a soft voice. Dominant energy? Not the strongest, the leader .. easy, I called “DEAN FIND ME". He’s the leader of the group. I couldn’t see him in the dark, but he found me fast and I grabbed his arm and hung on seeking to ground through his body, without draining a drop of his energy. I am not a vampire, though I am more than capable of being so. I grounded, only to get thrown out of balance by another wave of the same intensity as the girl connected to the new energy source against my will, and Dean felt it and I jerked my hand away from him again. He didn’t need to suffer what I was going through to feed a lost soul, but I had enough energy for a moment, and we did get a name for her finally –
Ann .. Anna .. something like that.
Somewhere around then I reconnected to Dean’s energy in an attempt to reground while Annalise continued to drag energy from me. Then I felt her distress, her growing discord .. “Male?" (little voice) “MALE", (bigger voice) “MALE, NO! NO! NO!" Screaming, and the images flooded through and I saw them, I saw what they did to her, and how .. and oh God, Oh God Annalis. Too much, baby, too much, I’m so sorry. I broke the connection with Dean and told him to RUN AWAY! And I meant it, and bless him, he did it without asking why. Annalis had gone insane in my arms again, but I still needed to ground and get her more energy, trying to calm her, trying to contain her .. God help me. So I called Rose. “ROSE FIND ME". And she did.
I think it was Dean that said Annalis .. but it was Rose who said Annaleese .. rhymes with cheese. I said the name out loud and it strengthened the connection, as if it wasn’t hard enough to manage!
I connected to Rose’s energy and the two of us were finally a match for Annalise. I’ll only mention briefly me crying out in pain and fear and literally sobbing on Rose’s shoulder as Annalise’s energy continued to overrun my sense of control and flooded out through my body. Even through all of that emotion, fear and pain, I could still ground through Rose, and without the child panicking, I drew energy from Source and filled her up and started to calm her down .. it was struggle, and she was still caught up in the horrendous nightmare of her death, but we had a chance now .. so I asked for her angel, who came .. and – her name was Rose. I didn’t think, I said “Annalise FIND Rose", and she did, only the Rose she found was the living one, hooked onto her back .. stupid decision, I was still so overwhelmed by all of it. I realised the mistake the moment it happened, paused long enough to think and then slid a shield down between Rose and Annalise, leaving only her hands touching Rose’s shoulders, FOUND her Rose (angel), asked her Rose to connect to Annalise, told Annalise to FIND her angel, forced her to really, and then disconnected the living Rose from the energy, and stood there shaking while Annalise tried to argue with an angel. But she was connected to source now, so no matter what she said or did, things would be all right. My will, my choice, not hers.
We left them with angel Rose’s arms wrapped tightly around Annalise keeping her calm as all that tsunami of emotion kept flooding through her. The angels know what to do. And we, we have to reconnect to the real world, wondering where we are and how much time has passed in the doing? And then go back inside and talk about nothings as if someone had not died in our arms and been reborn into spirit. That’s how it feels each time I do one of these totally intense rescues. Dear God, Annalise, at least you are all right now.
Let me finish the story, which does not have nearly enough details of what happened in my experiences with her, with how she died. She was kidnapped by two big tall brutal dirty ugly men, was raped by each of them more than once, and brutalised, and then killed by being beaten to death, not with fists, on no, with heavy sticks, starting at her feet and working over her whole body. When she first touched me that is what I saw .. every bone broken. I don’t know when she died in the process, but it was not very quickly. She was somewhere between 13 and 15 years old, and it happened over 100 years ago.
One thing I think we are lucky for. If Annalise had had the strength to get past her pain, into anger, she would have been a nightmare of a ghost. She had so much power. I’m glad she didn’t go that way. People would have thought her a demon, but she wasn’t, she was simply a child.
The word FIND is a command, a demand for an energy connection, which I used for the first time on living humans. I appreciate very much that they both came when I called, without question, and let go when I said leave. I will remember that.
And then I went inside and sat among the living and the parapsychologist asked me “have you ever been tested" .. ROFL
Love & Peace
Ama Nazra
WOW such strong words and the way you described every thing it was as if I were there watching the whole thing like a horror movie. You said this happen over 100 years ago I think that as time passes the spirits get no help and can not make it to the other side and is stranded reliving their horrible ending they gain more power and it turns dark sorta because they do not know how to control it and as you said some would have thought she was a demon when in fact she was not just a poor helpless soul that could not get peace. This was fascinating to read I so glad that I myself can not do any thing of the sort I think the first time it would kill me. I have a hard enough time living in the living world let alone reliving some one else life and feeling it.
There were incredibly strong emotions happening at the time, but I can usually disassociate yourself from them, just see them and not feel them, but Annalise was so desperate to be ‘seen’ .. this is one of the hazards of the job. Sometimes the ghosts ‘are’ very strong, but not angry .. just hurting. And they will influence your emotions, and mess up your reactions to the world, if they attach to your energy for any length of time. That’s why I recommend people always work shielded, unless they know what they are doing .. which is spirit rescue work, not just going ghost hunting. People can still experience strange things happening inside white light shields, without taking ghosts home with them.
Love & Peace
Ama
LOL!!! Now I know why you were so tired!!! That is incredible!!! Dear, I am going to say this; you have a higher calling and a higher importance in this world. What you do is no small feat! What you do, makes the mundane of life look insignificant. You are, in fact, a soldier of God. In saving the lost souls you also aid the living, and make us all aware that there is a life away from our mortal forms that is more significant; more important. God has, indeed blessed you with an incredible gift!!! Thank you so much for the story!!!!!
Thank you Luna, but I’ll tell you one thing .. its the mundane that keeps it real for folk like me who do this work. It’s very easy to be lost in the paranormal, it becomes an obsession, but I have my family and my friends to remind me .. not that I ever forget .. that I put my trousers on one leg at a time, just like everyone else.
I’m glad you enjoyed the story. The other lovely part of the weekend, apart from the whole things with that great ghost group, is my son-in-spirit coming to visit to help us with some earth energy balancing. Annalise was Friday night, the earth work was Saturday, and Sunday .. we all drove back into the ‘real’ world. LOL
Love & Peace
Ama
it was a very powerful moment indeed.
Hi Dean,
Thankyou for your help with Annalise. I appreciated it. That was an unexpected ‘rescue’. We were actually looking for three men’s ghosts over some graves. It’s a pity we can’t get a copy of the photo they showed us in the introductory talk (and I don’t remember seeing it?) LOL
Love & Peace
Ama
p.s. with CareTaker’s permission .. Dean’s ghost group is called Victorian Paranormal Investigations. We don’t have a website yet, but I am happy to act as Medium in his group.
Love & Peace
Ama
thank you Ama your amazing and feel very lucky to have you as part of VPI australia.I cant wait for the next one!
Hello Ama,
I have one question and it is an honest question, and not one of criticism. Why do our guardian Angels let us wander as lost souls for so long and not just find us and bring us into healing? Does it have to do with free will? If, then , that is the case, why did the angel take her under your will and not Annalise’s? I am just a bit confused, because, if her angel didn’t need her permission to be taken into healing, then her angel could have retrieved her a long time ago. Why let her roam our plane for so long? These are just questions and I am sure you have answers to them!! Thanks, Ama!!
And I am fascinated to learn the answers, by the way!!!
Hi Luna,
You had the answer to that one. In the story I wrote ‘my will, not hers’. Annalise had no idea what she wanted. She was all huge emotion, mostly fear and loneliness, and physical pain .. I doubt she knew to look for her angels, or anyone she loved, when she died. What do you think she would have been focused on, to still be in that state of mind 100+ years later?
When a person dies in that much trauma all they are thinking of is the event. They are trying to protect themselves, so naturally they throw up any form of protection they can .. and the aura is a form of protection when its healthy. It takes three days for the chakras to release their energy from the body and in doing so release the spirit. The silver cord dissolves and the person crosses over, or they are supposed to. When trauma is all they remember, they are still protecting themselves and still caught up in the memory of the event, and the aura energy + ego because a shell around them, trapping them within it. All that happens repeats and repeats and so they become lost inside the feelings and memories. The angels are not inside the aura, in the sense that they can reach in and tap a person on the shoulder and say ‘you are dead, come Home now’. The barrier is solid, and ghosts don’t listen.
Add in the time period, the power of the Christian church then to say ‘there are only demons’ etc and a newly dead person is going to be terrified of any being that tries to help them. They will, and do, close in on themselves and refuse to co-operate, even to save themselves. And if they fear judgement .. as Annalise might have done .. more problems. She might have done something stupid to get into that situation, and she was raped. The women were blamed for rape then, not the men.
And so she wrapped a big bubble of pain, fear and horror around herself and lived within it for such a long time .. but .. she was looking outwards Luna, or she would not have seen me. Sometimes people start waking up on their own, or sometimes they simply realise they are very hungry and go hunting food in places where they ‘feel’ they can get food .. not realising that what they are feeding on is human negative energy .. and haunted places are filled with that .. its what draws the ghosts. Fear, anger, frustration, terror, excitement .. its all food.
And Annalise’s angel was right there, waiting. But because Annalise could not make the decision to be rescued .. I did it for her. As a human being I interfere in human free will all the time .. everytime I say no to what someone else wants, I am interefering in their choices. Think of your daughter. She wants cake for breakfast .. I once gave into my kids on that one, after watching Bill Cosby do it on tv (so did they) and regretted it LOL .. and you say no. So Annalise got wrapped up first in my love, and then she got wrapped up in God’s love, via her angel, and basically we just fed her until she could get some control over her emotions enough to see everything would be all right .. and off she went. It takes time, but once I hand them over to their angels .. they are back in God’s arms and my work with them is done.
The nice part is when some of them come back for a moment, from healing, and say ‘thank you’. It does happen.
We all know the angels need our permission to help because God gave us free will. It doesn’t stop when we are dead. We are still the same being, in a sense, when we cross over, as we were before we incarnated. As long as ego has a control over us, we are still physical beings, even though our bodies may be gone.
Love & Peace
Ama
Thank you so much for your reply, Ama!! By now, you should have some idea on my feelings for what you do. I had figured that what you had done was against free will, but it is something God needed you to do, and you agreed to do it long before you were born. I did not doubt what you were doing even once; I just wanted to have a better understanding. So, thank you so much for your clarification; it helps me see some of the bigger picture. I sense that I am a very old spirit, but you, my dear, are older than me., and I mean that in a good way. You are wiser in ways that most cannot comprehend. Even though I only know from the internet, I am grateful to have met you, and I sinserely mean that!! I feel more spiritually on track, because of you, and I think our meeting was clandestined
You are lovely, Luna, I do hope are meeting wasn’t clandestined (in secret), because I don’t remember it .. but .. predestined (planned before) .. who knows, I believe it is entirely possible.
I you notice you also reversed your pseudonym? Is this the ‘new you’?
Love & Peace
Ama
Ha! Ha! Ha! I hope it wasn’t “clan destined” either!! LMAO!!! Guess I need to brush up on my vocabulary!!
What an experience you had Ama, and that poor poor child, the power of your telling and just the reading of the words really touch my heart. Do you think that maybe some of the people who were housed there years ago may have been able to see her? And do you think that her being in that area made her experience even worse? What I mean is seeing the every day life of the men and women who were at that asylum.
Thank you for sharing your story,
Fawnna (Lisa)
Hi Fawnna,
I don’t know if she was haunting the site, nor do I know if she was in the assylum as a patient.. she was so very young. She might have been a daughter of one of the guards or doctors? What I believe is that one or both of the men who killed her was locked up there. She might have been haunting them. When a ghost is that distressed, I don’t stop to ask many questions. I know what the men looked like. I ‘saw’ their faces. If the assylum had kept photographic records I could have picked them out.
I also don’t know of any records of a distressed female ghost haunting with such intensity, mostly the place is pretty quiet for a haunted location. Taps, touches and the occasional push, though we were told the tale of someone (ghost) landing on the back of an adventurous living male who decided to run up and down the west wing wrapped up in a straight jacket. Dean and Rose tested the theory, but only ended up getting the giggles in the ‘most’ haunted room .. which none of us found very haunted at all??
The other thing is .. that was my second visit to the building. Annalise had not been there, to my awareness, the last time I was. We had a ghost called Victor, who frightened one lady up two flights of stairs .. he had his hand on her back and ‘ran’ her up. He was not one of Annalise’s villains though, I cleared him into healing the minute the lady was back downstairs and safe. We had him on EVP saying his name.
If she had been there last time, she might have been wrapped up very tight in that bubble of fear, pain and horror that held her, only seeking a way out sometime just before we went to visit this time around. Perhaps she just was drawn there, as many ghosts are, by the number of people going through the site ‘hunting ghosts’.
Love & Peace
Ama
Sorry, one more bit .. Annalise did not feel as though she was aware of her surroundings, and I didn’t let her stay there long enough to work out either time, year, or location. Perhaps, once she is through her healing, she might revisit the site as a spirit, but that will be up to her. She might even come and say thank you to one of the three of us involved in her rescue? That has been known to happen.
Love & Peace
Ama
You are a very strong person Ama.
Thank you CF .. sometimes I am, and sometimes its hard work.
Love & Peace
Ama
what did she mean by saying they forgot me.you told if she converted her pain to anger she could be a nightmare of a ghost .do such ghosts exist?can they torture the living like in ‘grudge’ movie or something.hope she would have attacked only men.
Hello Luna,
Annalise died, and I think her body was never found. At the time I believe she was thinking of the two men who hurt her (she had no value to them except a bit of ‘fun’), or it could have been her family (I would hope not) .. and with the passing of time, people forget people.
There are ghosts out there that want to hurt people. You might have heard stories of people being pushed down the stairs, or scratched, or had things thrown at them.I once was part of a rescue of an old (600 years dead) japanese lady who was a real problem. It doesn’t happen a lot, but some ghosts do develop telekinetic abilities, if they have been dead long enough. The emotional strength of Annalise was enormous. That much energy used in anger .. coulde have .. not necessarily ‘would’ have .. done damage. Not everything we think of as a demon is a demon.
I have never watched a grudge movie, but I do know that most of the nonsense on ghosts in the movies now is human invention. The movies are designed to create fear in you. People like to feel startled in situations where they know they are safe .. or think they are .. like the movie theatre or their own homes. Trouble is, fear feeds ghosts, and the more a person focuses on them, the more likely they are to drawn them in. People get obsessed with ghosts .. but why? For the sense of the unusal, the unknown, the feeling of fear .. until something truly nasty happens and they have to get someone in to help them sort it out. We are often our own worst enemies.
Love & Peace
Ama
Hi Ama
“two big tall brutal dirty ugly men”
Were these two at the house? (whether essence of, spirit or physical?)
AJ
x
Hi AJ,
If they were ‘of’ the asylum (criminally insane division) I didn’t sense them. I had been there once before and cleared a nasty piece of work called Victor, but I doubt he was one of them. Ghosts travel. Annalise could have come from anywhere, drawn there by the energy of the history of the place, and all the living people who wander through it – particularly those hunting a scare.
Love & Peace
Ama