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Not Who I Was Hoping For

Posted on October 4, 2010

Before I begin with my experience, I should tell you a little more about myself and the house I grew up in…

I have been afraid of the dark since I was a little girl. I always felt like there was something behind me when I was standing in the dark. Sometimes, I could close my eyes and see the hollows of someone’s eyes, not necessarily watching me, just there. Often, I would wake to the sound of something on the carpet, like footsteps. Most of these things happened to me in the house I grew up in but, sometimes,I got the feeling of being watched in other places too. I told my parents, but it worried them.

I learned to shut out those feelings, to stifle the fear that would creep up on me as I grew up. I busied myself with in school with a ton of sports and community service. Eventually, I moved out of the house and went to college.(I still got the feeling that something was awry here and there, but I ignored it and it happened less frequently.)

When I was 21, my father was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. One day we were at the Cub’s game and, literally, the next day we were at the ER finding out that my dad’s stomach cramps were due to cancer and not a bad hotdog. His cancer progressed very quickly. Before I knew it, he needed 24 hour supervision. I dropped out of school and moved back home to take care of my dad. My dad survived with colon cancer for 2 years before he passed. When he passed away, he did so in my childhood home.

I was at home alone a week or so after his passing. I was watching TV when that familiar uneasy feeling started to creep up on me. I looked around the room and noticed that my dog, Maxie, was sitting in the living room facing the wall, just looking at it. After a while, she moved down the hall a bit, sat, and stared. When she moved back up the hall toward the living room, where I was, she sat facing the wall again but suddenly she got up, ran excitedly in a circle, jumped up onto her hind legs (like when we made her “dance” for a treat), and sat back down facing the wall again. At this point, that feeing of being unsettled turned to fear and hope at the same time. I thought that, perhaps, it was my dad. Maybe his spirit hadn’t left yet. So, I went to the office and found the digital recorder. I brought it back to the living room and tried to work up the courage to do an EVP session. I was afraid to do it because I already had enough trouble trying to sleep in the dark like a normal person, or walk in a deserted place without feeling like I was being watched. Needless to say, I resolved to do the EVP anyway. I just wanted to hear my dad again. So, I pressed record and began to ask questions. I asked first if there was something with me. Second, I asked if it was my dad. Third, I asked if it needed something. When I played back my recording, I was horrified to find that I had, indeed, captured a response. I was telling myself the whole time that I being silly, but I guess I wasn’t. The only thing I heard on the recording, besides myself asking the questions, was an answer to my second question about my father. It said, “not daddy”. It scared me enough to take my dog, and go to my mother’s house.

I have not tried recording anymore EVPs since. I have been telling myself for so long that my feelings of not being alone and sudden feelings of uneasiness are just me being stupid. What if they’re not? Ever since that one EVP session, I have had a hard time convincing myself that there’s nothing there when it feels like there is… I’m 27 now, and I’m still afraid of the dark.

Sent in by Kimbot, Copyright 2010 TrueGhostTales.com




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