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Ever since my first possession, in the year 1996 or 1997 I have been experiencing strange feelings, presences, voices and visions. The issue is, I was possessed by some entity for two weeks between 1996 and 1997, but this demon/entity left and released control. It said (to me in my head) that it’d be back. (I am assuming the entity is a male), so I’ll call him a “he”.
Every year when coming up to my birthdays I get these feelings of the presence of it being around. I hear demonic faint voices saying strange things. I see visions of the underworld (whether or not that’s actually possible, but it seems like I am seeing these visions from the entity/demons eyes) and it’ looks really big, hot/warm, red and flame-type thing. I cannot describe it. I have meet really tired/sleepy, going into a daydream (whilst thinking or daydreaming I am unable to move at all) I cannot move my eyes, my head, or any part of my body.
I really don’t know what it is, and its beginning to scare me. I (for some reason) do not believe in Christ, for some reason I have a type of “hatred” in him. I don’t know why but the hatred for Jesus Christ and/or God, heaven etc started when I said above (between 1996-1997). If I think of Christ, I hear a faint demonic voice telling me not to believe or like him. I cannot control what I think/see or hear sometimes during the encounters.
I’ve tried telling people, my foster mom and dad (I don’t live with my real parents) but when ever I bring up the words “Devil, Satan, demonic, demon(s)” etc my foster mom goes mad. She’s religious and believes in Christ. She will not listen to me to what I have to say. I try telling her there’s something wrong with me… my eye color keeps changing to random demonic colors, white/black or hazel kind of thing. I experience a complete blackout (not loss of memory) but a blackout where I’m in the demonic realm world since when these activities occur, I (for some reason) see through a demons eye. I see lots of spiritual kind of creatures but am unable to explain, nor describe them. You must think I’m crazy, delusional or have an illness, though I have no such illness. I do not smoke, condone drugs, smoking or bad habits. Sometimes (when I want to be left alone completely isolated in my room on my bed) I do not come out of my room or off my bed for at least an hour or two when the activities occur.
I don’t know much about demonology and demonologists etc, but I have been known to get isolative and aggressive when someone disturbs me whilst being isolated in my room. When I am on my bed, I just sit or lie there. I don’t do anything else, other then just lie down. I am certain that I do have a demon with or inside me, though for some reason, if this demon/entity wanted to possess me again, it would (right?) but it doesn’t. It wont leave on it’s own accord, or when I respectively ask it to leave me alone in my head (I don’t know whether demonic entities can actually read or hear my thoughts) but it will not leave. It doesn’t always torment me, it’s mainly just idle until night time (around 11:00 PM to 3:00 AM) then it gets annoying and tormentative. It sometimes speaks using my voice which can get annoying at times.
If there is a demonologist or an exorcist on this site, can you please tell me a way to make the demon stop using my voice to talk and stop it from making me tired and sleepy. Is there a “respective” way I can tell it to leave or be silent without making it angry? Please do not think I am crazy or have an illness, as I assure you this is a real experience, not a dream.
Today, I was in the dining room, I just sat on the chair staring at a cross, could not hear anything else around me at all, just staring at a cross on the wall… I can hear and see visions of rage and foul language in my head… for some reason I am thinking hatred of the cross. I was sitting on the chair for 15 to 20 minutes doing nothing but staring. My foster mom is in the kitchen (most houses have the dining room connected to the kitchen so under a portal sort of thing. My foster mom seems a little concerned when I was sitting there. She said she tried talking to me for 5 minutes, but I could not hear or see her at all, then suddenly after 20 minutes snapped out of what ever trance I was in. All I could remember is having aggressive/rage, angry thoughts of the cross on the wall.
Can anyone please help me and explain why I was in this? If a demonologist / exorcist can explain these activities I keep seeing (like above with staring and aggressively thinking of horrid thoughts about the Lord Jesus Christ). Thank you for your time.