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Walking Into Things

Posted on March 7, 2010

Thirty two year old Nancy Burgess in need of a higher paying job due to recently becoming a single mother of two had joined an agency to help her with the process. As a nurses assistant, her income had only added up to be enough to cover the phone bill, groceries, and the utilities. Since our dad had been hurt on the job his disability could be counted on every two weeks but if you counted it, it wouldn’t add up to much. His income prior to the fall was more than sufficient to cover the mortgage, the car, and just about anything else that came their way.

She knew there wasn’t much work to choose from out there and that her only background was in the medical field yet she made it clear to her representative from the job placement company that hospice care (helping those on their death beds as they come to the end of their days with general medicine routines and random daily needs) was not something she was the least bit interested in at all. She went further with the explanation to include that the reason why had to do with her being the only one of her siblings living close enough to her father to be by his side as he slowly withered away and finally died in her company. Also that she was the least closest to him out of her brother and two sisters and that the whole thing had left her pretty scorned by the whole process of watching someone die. Seth, who she liked from the start explained that he would do what he could to pre-qualify any interviews that fit her description but she should go on any interview that came her way even if to just practice interviewing. He was aware that she never actually had to “compete” for a job before and that in the market at the time there were not enough jobs so companies had their “pick of the litter” as they say. She agreed, two interviews with no call back and three weeks went by without any new calls.

Finally feeling desperate with one mortgage payment a month behind and the following one almost due she called her agent thinking he may need to be reminded of her. She got bad news from him, the only interview he could set up was in fact for a hospice patient. He had already sent two other people over to interview also and was thinking that one of them would have taken the job. The family of the dieing man wanted to simply pay the agency a one time fee for getting them the interviews until they found the right caretaker to fit their needs and then would contract that person privately and that person would be paid each week in cash from that point on. He mentioned that the family was a wealthy one with many odd requests in mind and that they would pay accordingly. Being desperate Nancy waited to hear back from Seth to find out first if it was still available and if so where and when her interview would be. She finally got the call later that day. Seth was a bit weird but she still liked him as much as she did when they first met and she had learned that he was kind of a wise ass so she was not surprised when he gave her the time, day and address and then told her not to be late, that her patient Dr. Hucks was “dieing to meet her” she laughed her way off of the phone and slowly hung up. Visions of her suffering father came to her followed by tears. There was something about this interview that seemed as though if she wanted the job it would be offered to her which was too much reality for her.

Again the phone rang… Nancy? Yes. It’s Seth again, just thought I should mention, I spoke with the client and it seems two things they are particular about, one is that the soon to be widow absolutely hates any women who wear the color red, I know weird huh? Ok? and the other? She would like to be referred to as madam. Not Mrs. Hucks, she told me that she has always loved her husband, but has always hated his name. Alright Seth, no red and yes, madam! I think I can remember these for tomorrow. Anything else? Yes Nancy, this lady seems creepy to me, be careful and make your decision based on your gut – not on your situation, there will be more jobs eventually. Thank you Seth, have a good night! Take care Nancy and good luck tomorrow!

She found herself going through pictures later that evening mostly of her childhood coming across a few of her fathers old photos. Three glasses of wine and half of a box of clean-ex later it was past eleven o’clock. After covering our father with a quilt she proceeded to our room. My little sister had been sound asleep for hours now and she found herself getting the little one out of her bed knowing she would sleep through this and brought her little one into bed with her. Our father was in the habit of sleeping on the pullout in the TV room now that he would stay up so late and she needed some comfort. Finally falling asleep arms wrapped around her small one with the wish that she could have found a way to be closer to her father before he moved on. Wondering how even on his dieing day neither of them could tell each other how much they loved the other. She could remember how hard it was trying to get through to him, harder as he could no longer even make eye contact, his vision was worsening along with the rest of his health. Not having eye contact made it tough although they may not have shared many words together the reassuring look that his eyes often gave her was comforting and would have helped them possibly when it was time to say goodbye. The look in fact would wash away the harshness that he so easily carried with him.

She was pretty much alone when he passed as her mother was falling deeper into her own problems, bi-polar disorder being one of them, a very early version of Alzheimer’s being another. She had been packing a bag for her husband over and over again in those final months as if he were going away on a trip that he would return from. Her mother would also forget what Nancy was doing there sometimes and would think she was her bad daughter trying to take her pillows home with her. The whole situation was sad. The one light in that dark time was the company of her aunt who had moved in with her parents as the mania and depression started to take hold of her mother and the house itself. Her aunt was an upbeat woman who laughed at everything and that helped it all go by better than it ever could have. She was offered the job on the spot, adhering to Seth’s advise she had dressed very conservatively and remembered to end everything in “yes madam”. Furthermore the pay rate would be more than sufficient and Mrs. Hucks offered her a healthy sum of money upfront to secure her and it was enough to get caught up. There was no saying no. Surprisingly Mrs. Hucks seemed pleasant enough too. Turns out the Doctor she would be taking care of wasn’t exactly on his way out either, he had some years left in him.

The family was very wealthy indeed so when the decision was made to hire someone to help the older man it was decided that they would find that person outside of the family. They would also do it without the help of anyone who had befriended the family over the years, hoping to avoid another person looking for someway to get their hands on the trust. Over the years that followed Nancy worked hard for her new employers. She found herself growing very fond of the couple and their children. During times when my sister and I were going through the “milestone moments” of our lives the Hucks would always arrange for my mother to be relieved to attend such events and at times they would send very generous gifts to us both.

The Doc as she would call him turned out to be the opposite of her own father and although being around him helped with some of the pain that she carried about the failed parts of her and her fathers relationship, she still carried much of this  pain. How could she feel closer to someone who was once a stranger to her life as she watched him deteriorate more so than she did to her own father? Why couldn’t they have at least told each other that they loved one another on that day he passed? At this point her life was holidays with us kids, and most of her days taking care of the Hucks’.

It turned out that Mrs. Hucks who mom had been calling Molly now for years would be the one to go first quietly one night without pain and she had asked Nancy years before to continue to take care of Donald for the rest of his days and that the families personal finance manager Jack would make sure she was taken care of each week. For some reason Molly knew she would go first. Mrs. Hucks had also mentioned more than once that she would not be forgotten by them when he too moved on. She did as Molly wished and spent all of her time taking care of her replacement father, enjoying it with an empty satisfaction but enjoyed the man’s company just the same.

His time had come. His was a bit more violent of a departure with much coughing and bed sores. He had fallen apart fast in the end of his days. He would talk of Molly often and would say that he was looking forward to seeing her if he was lucky enough to be allowed into the same place where she went. It was sad for my mother to watch this, it was her fathers death all over again yet with someone that she had connected with. One of the Huck daughters was there at the house with her when he died. He was stable so it seemed to be of no consequence if she were to go into the city for the evening just to get away for a bit. So Nancy stayed with Don. Turns out that it was his time to go that night.

Nancy called the paramedics and tracked down his children urging the daughter who was close enough to come home from the dinner she had gone out for. there was nothing left to do but stay at his side and comfort him as best she could. He began making less sense as his end came near. He claimed that there were people he had loved in his life that were coming in and out of his room as the dieing often do. He said his wife was sitting quietly next to him on his bed just quietly smiling and waiting for him. Just before the ambulance arrived and before he took his last breath he took my mothers hand and said that he loved her not as if she were like his own daughter but said to her “my dear sweet daughter Nancy, I love you and I can go happily now that I have said this. And it’s about time my dear, you have waited so long and besides I am so tired of walking into things with these failing eyes of mine”. She was speechless, her father’s biggest complaint as he was growing more ill back in the day was that he was so tired of just that; Walking into things. My mother finally got to say the goodbye to her father that had plagued her for so long, closure came to her years later as she helped another man find the end of his days.

This story is a re-telling of what my own mother went through as she was struggling to take care of my little brother and I. She was not a good story teller nor did she tell us any other stories that had even a hint of any paranormal twists to them, maybe a manifestation of some heart felt emotional loss. Maybe a bit more proof that this place is just another trial for our souls to go through as we are on our way to somewhere else.

Sent in by Walter Daniel Butler, Copyright 2010




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