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Grandma

Posted on May 20, 2010

To begin my story, which is indeed true; I must start with a little background about my grandmother. She was my grandmother on my mothers side and was old as long as I can remember and senile for most of that time. She had many strange things that she seemed to enjoy doing and all of them drove my father insane. For instance, she would wander the house at night and groan as if she were already practicing to be a ghost. She also liked to stuff banana peels down the heating vents in the winter time. You can only imagine what that did to my dad.

On Saturday nights my parents would go out for the evening. That meant I was all alone with my grandmother and the TV. So, while she stayed in her room I would watch World Wide Wrestling followed by a late show horror film to top it all off. On one Saturday night as I was in TV heaven while lazing on the couch reveling in Wahoo McDaniel tomahawk chopping the snot out of The Nature Boy Ric Flair my grandmother decided to peer around the corner at me. Now normally that doesn’t sound too scary. But picture a 97 year old woman with hair wilder than Albert Einstein’s and a washcloth hanging out of her mouth and moaning as she peered around the corner and you can understand why I jumped out of my skin. After I regained my composure and my heart made its way out of my butt I told her ‘Grandma, go to bed.’ With a long moan and the shuffling of her slippers on the carpet; she did just that.

My grandmother passed away from complications of a broken hip not long after that. About a month or two afterward I moved into her room. Everything was fine for about 3 or so months. Then one night just as I had crawled into bed and was lying on my side facing the wall I heard an old familiar sound. It was the shuffling of my grandmother’s slippers on the carpet. Too scared to move I resorted to an old tactic that worked when she was alive. I said ‘Grandma, go to bed.’ At that moment I had forgotten two important details. One-I was in her old room. Two-I was in her old bed. Suddenly I heard the shuffling of her slippers moving in my direction and then felt the weight of someone pressing down on the bed and crawling in to lie beside me. I could hear breathing and feel the pressure of someone leaning against me. I knew it wasn’t any of my family playing a joke on me. My parents shut the door when they went to bed so I knew that it was time for their monthly sex romp which put them out for the count afterward. My brother and sister had moved out by this time and the family dog was too small to make any kind of dent in the bed. So I could only come to the conclusion that this was indeed my recently deceased grandmother coming back to give me one more fright. It worked. I didn’t turn over the entire night.

This was the first and only time my grandmothers’ ghost paid a visit. I believe she did it because she wanted to wander around the house and spend a little more time with those she loved one last time. I also believe she did it to scare the crap out of me one more time.

Sent in by John Mountain, Copyright 2010




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