Witch Jokes

Here is a collection of witch jokes for you to enjoy

  • Q: What happens if you see twin witches ?
    A:You won't be able to see which witch is witch !
  • Q: Why did the witch give up fortune telling ?
    A:There was no future in it !
  • Q: Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches ?
    A:Because it was an 'appy rash !
  • Q: What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller ?
    A:Broom sick !
  • Q: How did the witch almost lose her baby ?
    A:She didn't take it far enough into the woods !
  • Q: Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge ?
    A:She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings !
  • Q: Where did the witch get her furniture ?
    A:From the ideal gnome exhibition !
  • Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the wash ?
    A:She wanted a clean sweep !
  • Q: What has six legs and flies ? A witch giving her cat a ride !
  • Q: What has handles and flies ?
    A: A witch in a dustbin !
  • Q: What is evil and ugly and bounces ?
    A: A witch on a trampoline !
  • Q: What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital ?
    A: With any luck you'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell !
  • Q: What do witches race on ?
    A: Vroomsticks !
  • Q: Why do witches scratch themselves all the time ?
    A: Because they're the only ones who know where a witch itches !
  • Q: Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat ?
    A: So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen !
  • Q: How can you tell when a witch is really ugly ?
    A: When a wasp stings her it closes his eyes !
  • Q: Why did the witch go over the mountain ?
    A: Because she couldn't go under it !
  • Q: How do witches tell the time ?
    A: By looking at their witch watches !
  • Q: What's the best way of talking to a warty witch ?
    A: By telephone !
  • Q: How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one ?
    A: By her suntan !
  • Q: What is evil, ugly and goes at 125 mph ?
    A: A witch on a high speed train !
  • Q: How is the witches team doing ?
    A: They're having a spell in the first division !
  • Q: Have you heard about the good weather witch ?
    A: She's forecasting sunny spells !
  • Q: What did one witch say to another when they left the cinema ?
    A: Do you want to walk home or shall we take the broom !
  • Q: What is a witches favourite book?
    A: Broom at the top !
  • Q: What's the witches favourite pop group?
    A: Broomski Beat !
  • Q: What makes more noise than an angry witch?
    A: Two angry witches !
  • Q: What's the best way of seeing a witch?
    A: On the television !
  • Q: What did the witch write in her Christmas card?
    A: Best vicious of the season !
  • Q: What do you get if you cross a flea and a witch?
    A: Very worried dogs !
  • Q: What do little witches like to play at school?
    A: Bat's cradle !


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