Witch Jokes
Here is a collection of witch jokes for you to enjoy
- Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle!
- Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray
- Q: How does the witch know what time it is?
A: She looks at her witch-watch.
- Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling!
- Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A: She witch-hiked!
- Q: What does a witch kid want for Christmas?
A: A haunted dollhouse.
- Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which!
- Q: How do witches tell time?
A: With a witch watch.
- Q: What do you call two witches living together?
A: Broom-mates.
- Q: What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel?
A: Broom service.
- Q: What did one witch say to other when she asked for a lift?
A: "There's always broom for one more."
- Q: When do witches cook their victims?
A: On Fry Day.
- Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.
- Q: What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
A: A brrrooooommmm stick
- Q: Who was the most famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes
- Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling.
- Q: Why does a witch ride a broom?
A:Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.
- Q: What do you call a witch's garage?
A:A broom closet.
- Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A:She witch-hiked!
- Q: What do witches eat at Halloween ?
A:Spooketti, halloweenies, devils
food cake and booberry pie !
- Q: What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime ?
A:Ghoul deluxe and the three scares !
- Q: How does a witch tell the time ?
A:With a witch watch !
- Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine ?
A:She wanted a clean sweep !
- Q: What do you call two witches that share a room ?
A:Broom mates !
- Q: What noise does a witch's breakfast cereal make ?
A:Snap, cackle and pop !
- Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A:An itchy witchy !
- Q: What's a cold, evil candle called ?
A:The wicked wick of the north !
- Q: What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round ?
A:A witch in a revolving door !
- Q: What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside ?
A:A witch dressed as a cucumber !
- Q: What happens if you see twin witches ?
A:You won't be able to see which witch is witch !
- Q: Why did the witch give up fortune telling ?
A:There was no future in it !
- Q: Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches ?
A:Because it was an 'appy rash !
- Q: What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller ?
A:Broom sick !
- Q: How did the witch almost lose her baby ?
A:She didn't take it far enough into the woods !
- Q: Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge ?
A:She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings !
- Q: Where did the witch get her furniture ?
A:From the ideal gnome exhibition !
- Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the wash ?
A:She wanted a clean sweep !
- Q: What has six legs and flies ?
A witch giving her cat a ride !
- Q: What has handles and flies ?
A: A witch in a dustbin !
- Q: What is evil and ugly and bounces ?
A: A witch on a trampoline !
- Q: What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital ?
A: With any luck you'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell !
- Q: What do witches race on ?
A: Vroomsticks !
- Q: Why do witches scratch themselves all the time ?
A: Because they're the only ones who know where a witch itches !
- Q: Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat ?
A: So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen !
- Q: How can you tell when a witch is really ugly ?
A: When a wasp stings her it closes his eyes !
- Q: Why did the witch go over the mountain ?
A: Because she couldn't go under it !
- Q: How do witches tell the time ?
A: By looking at their witch watches !
- Q: What's the best way of talking to a warty witch ?
A: By telephone !
- Q: How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one ?
A: By her suntan !
- Q: What is evil, ugly and goes at 125 mph ?
A: A witch on a high speed train !
- Q: How is the witches team doing ?
A: They're having a spell in the first division !
- Q: Have you heard about the good weather witch ?
A: She's forecasting sunny spells !
- Q: What did one witch say to another when they left the cinema ?
A: Do you want to walk home or shall we take the broom !
- Q: What is a witches favourite book?
A: Broom at the top !
- Q: What's the witches favourite pop group?
A: Broomski Beat !
- Q: What makes more noise than an angry witch?
A: Two angry witches !
- Q: What's the best way of seeing a witch?
A: On the television !
- Q: What did the witch write in her Christmas card?
A: Best vicious of the season !
- Q: What do you get if you cross a flea and a witch?
A: Very worried dogs !
- Q: What do little witches like to play at school?
A: Bat's cradle !
- Q: What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?
A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off !
- Q: What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV host?
A: The producer said that she had the perfect face for radio !
- Q: What kind of music do witches play on the piano?
A: Hag-time !
- Q: What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends?
A: A witch with a blindfold !
- Q: Why did the witch join the football club?
A: Because she heard they were looking for a new sweeper !
- Q: What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites?
A: Don't bite any witches !
- Q: What should you expect if you drop in on a witches home unexpectedly?
A: Pot luck !
- Q: What do witches sing at Christmas?
A: "Deck the halls with poison ivy...."
!
- Q: What is old, ugly and blue?
A: A witch holding it's breath !
- Q: What do you call a witch that climbs up walls?
A: Ivy !
- Q: Why was the witch late for the party?
A: She'd lost her witch-watch !
- Q: What do you call a witch with one leg?
A: Eileen !
- Q: What is old and ugly and goes beep beep?
A: A witch in a traffic jam !
- Q: Why is a witch like a candle?
A: They are both wicked !
- Q: Why did the witch keep turning into Mickey Mouse?
A: She kept having Disney spells !
- Q: Why did the witch wear yellow stockings?
A: Because her grey ones were at the cleaners !
- Q: What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch?
A: A witch in soggy shoes !
- Q: What usually runs in witches' families?
A: Noses !
- Q: What goes cackle, cackle, boom?
A: A witch in a minefield !
- Q: What happens to witches when it rains?
A: They get wet !
- Q: What is black, old & ugly and has four wheels?
A: A witch on a skateboard !
- Q: What do you call an old hag that lives by the sea?
A: A sandwitch !
- Q: What is the difference between a musician and a dead witch?
A: One composes and the other decomposes !
- Q: What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?
A: A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot !
- Q: Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?
A: Because she thought everybody loved her !
- Q: Why won't a witch wear a flat hat?
A: Because there is no point in it !
- Q: What do you call a witch that stays out all night?
A: A fresh air freak !
- Q: What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg?
A: A cold spell !
- Q: Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
A: Because there are so many witches sweeping the sky !
- Q: What do you call a witch by the side of the road with her thumb out?
A: A witchhiker !
- Q: What is the favourite subject of young witches at school?
A: Spelling !
- Q: Why did the witch consult an astrologer?
A: She wanted to know her horror-scope !
- Q: What is the difference between a witch and the letters M A K E S?
A: One make spells and the other spell makes !
- Q: What do little witches do after school?
A: Their gnomework !
- Q: Why do witches ride on broomsticks?
A: Because it's quicker than walking !
- Q: What's a witches favourite film?
A: My Fear Lady !
- Q: What do witches say when they overtake each other?
A: Broom, broom, broom !
- Q: Why do witches get good bargains?
A: Because they like to haggle !
- Q: What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
A: One's a hunted stag and the other is a stunted hag !
- Q: Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters?
A: She had never learnt to spell properly !
- Q: What goes cackle, cackle, bonk?
A: A witch laughing her head off !
- Q: What are baby witches called?
A: Halloweenies !
- Q: What do you call a witches motor bike?
A: A baaaarrrroooooooommmm stick !
- Q: How can you tell if a witch has a glass eye?
A: When it comes out in conversation !
- Q: What is the witches motto?
A: We came, we saw, we conjured !
- Q: What happens to a witch when she loses her temper while riding her
broom?
A: She flies off the handle !
- Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away the "w" !
- Q: What do you call a nervous witch?
A: A twitch !
- Q: What kind of tests do they give in witch school?
A: Hex-aminations !
- Q: What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A: A very witch person !
- Q: How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea?
A: Out of flying saucers !
- Q: What do witches ring for in a hotel?
A: B-room service !
- Q: Who's the fastest witch?
A: The ones that ride on a vroom stick !
- Q: Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy !
- Q: What kind of jewellry do warty witches wear on their wrists?
A: Charm bracelets !
- Q: Why didn't the witch sing at the concert?
A: Because she had a frog in her throat !
- Q: What do you call a witch Who drives really badly?
A: A road hag !
- Q: What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?
A: Run !
- Q: What happened to the naughtly little witch at school?
A: She was ex-spelled !
- Q: Why did the witch buy two tickets to the zoo?
A: One to get in and one to get out !
- Q: What sound does a witch make when she cries?
A: "Brew-hoo, Brew-hoo" !
- Q: Why should men beware of beautiful witches?
A: They'll sweep them off their feet !
- Q: Is it true that a witch won't hurt you if you run away from her?
A: It all depends on how fast you run !
- Q: How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
A: She holds the pan and gets 2 friends to make the stove shake with
fright !
- Q: How do you make a witch float?
A: Blend two scoops of ice cream, and one witch!
- Q: What does a witch enjoy cooking most?
A: Gnomelettes !
- Q: When can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb?
A: You can hear their brooms tick !
- Q: How do warty witches keep their hair out of place?
A: With scare spray !
- Q: What do you call a pretty and friendly witch?
A: failure !
- Q: Why are witches fingernails never longer than 11 inches?
A: Because if they were 12 inches they'd be a foot !
- Q: What do you do if a witch in a pointy hat sits in front of you at the
cinema?
A: Miss most of the film !
- Q: Why is a witches face like a million dollars?
A: It's all green and wrinkly !
- Q: What's evil and ugly and goes up and down all day?
A: A witch stuck in a elevator !
- Q: What do you call a witch you likes the beach but is scared of the
water?
A: A chicken sandwitch !
- Q: Who went into a witche's den and came out alive?
A: The witch !
- Q: What do you call two witches who share a broom sticks?
A: Broom mates !
- Q: What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?
A: To keep their hats pointed !
- Q: Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark?
A: That's the time to go to sweep !
- Q: What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
A: "I'd put a curse on you but it looks like someone beat me to it" !
- Q: Whats the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?
A: Ever tried broomstick pie?
!
- Q: What's the best advice you can give to a witch on a broomstick?
A: Don't fly off the handle !
- Q: What did the young witch say to her mother?
A: Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !
- Q: Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
A: To keep their heads warm !
- Q: Why are black cats such good singers?
A: They're very mewsical !
- Q: When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
A: When your a mouse !
- Q: What do you get if you cross a witches cat with Father Christmas?
A: Santa Claws !
- Q: What do witches cats like for breakfast?
A: Mice krispies !
- Q: What do you get if you cross a witches cat with a canary?
A: A peeping tom !
- Q: What do you call it when a witches cat falls off a broomstick?
A: A catastrophe !
- Q: Why did the witch feed her cat with pennies?
A: She wanted to put some money in the kitty !
- Q: What did the black cat say to the fish?
A: I've got a bone to pick with you !
- Q: What do you call a witches cat that drinks vinegar?
A: A sour puss !
- Q: What do you call a witches cat with no legs?
A: Anything you like, she won't be able to chase you !
- Q: What do you get if you cross a witches cat and a canary?
A: A cat with a full tummy !
- Q: What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A: A lawn miaower !
- Q: What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and goes round and round?
A: A black cat stuck in a clothes dryer !
- Q: What did the black cat do when its tail got cut off in an accident?
A: He went to a retail store !
- Q: What do witches cats strive for?
A: Purrfection !
- Q: What is a little witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling!
- Q: Which story do all little witches love to hear at bedtime?
A: "Ghoul Deluxe and the Three Scares."